Wednesday, November 2, 2011

New Day is a New Time

Yesterday I made my first post in a long long time, granted it was professing my love for a girl I probably will never have the chance I want with, and never get to live out my dreams with, but the post still reminded me that I thuroughly enjoy writing on any subject.

Yesterday I had an experience that made me rethink how much courage I may posess. This girl about which my post was made, came over to the house last night. The point of which was to help me with homework, although it was probably inevitable that we would let the homework be the least important aspect of getting together. We ended up shooting the breeze for hours, discussing her blogging, discussing music, etc. The whole time we're talking I'm trying to muster up the courage to tell her how I actually feel. Several opportunities arise, and I coware and shirk away from opening up. I often times have a problem facing situations which may end up being uncomfortable. This was just another one of those situations. What if I tell her and she doesn't reciprocate? What if I tell her and she gets angry? What if I tell her and she laughs? Often focussing on the potential bad more so than the potential good is what causes me to chop myself off at the knees. Why is the prospect of being shot down so damning to me? It's oft said that, "The worst someone can tell you is no." But, it's just that, that is the worst thing that could happen. At least if I never try then I never lose, right? It still feels like I've lost.

I'd love to make a resolution that I won't let this happen again, that I won't let another opportunity go where I allow myself to scare because of the prospect of rejection, but I know myself well enough to know this probably won't happen. My confidence is shot...

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